I have two kids and have always worried about effectively communicating with them. But I also worry about communicating with other kids. If you want to know how to do better, here’s a list of four ways to communicate better with kids.
- Give them your full attention.
- Listen and hear before you respond.
- Have realistic expectations.
- Communicate using simple terms.
Communication is a two way street. It involves listening and speaking. And if you don’t learn how to communicate on the same level as kids, it leads to a lot of frustration on both sides. Keep reading to improve your communication with children.
1 – Give Them Your Full Attention
I’ve been guilty of this too many times. A kid tries to communicate with me while I’m doing something else and I don’t give them my full attention.
When you don’t give a kid your full attention, miscommunication usually follows.
I know that kids seem to ask questions when you’re busy. Or they want to talk when you’re trying to concentrate on something else. This happens to me all of the time.
But when you’re communicating with kids you need to give them your full attention. If you can’t stop doing what you’re doing, explain that you can give them your full attention when you finish. And tell them exactly when that will be.
You also need to realize that the kid might be more important than what you’re doing. So if you can, stop what you’re doing and give them your full attention.
2 – Listen and Hear Before You Respond
Effective communication involves listening and hearing. When you hear something it doesn’t mean you’re listening. But when you hear and listen, it involves thinking about what the child says.
Listening and hearing are closely related to what I covered in the previous section. If you’re not paying close attention, you might hear but not fully comprehend what the kid says.
While I still slip sometimes, I do my best to try to understand what a kid says before responding. Often my first thought doesn’t match what the child means. And if I think about it for a second or two before responding I can handle the situation better.
3 – Have Realistic Expectations
When you communicate with kids you need to do your best to have realistic expectations. As adults, we often fall into the trap of thinking other people know things that we know. And it’s unfair to expect kids to know and understand things that we know and understand.
If you try to communicate something complicated, you can’t realistically expect a kid to understand it right away. But the child doesn’t know everything you know. And kids often think differently than you think.
When communicating with a kid, try to think through your expectations before the conversation. And if the child doesn’t seem to understand, try to avoid getting frustrated. The next section helps when you’re trying to communicate something that might be complicated to a kid.
4 – Communicate Using Simple Terms
I remember having a conversation with one of my kids and I said something about Frankenstein. She asked me if Frankenstein was related to Einstein.
This example shows that we don’t always understand how kids think. I’d never associate Einstein and Frankenstein, but it makes perfect sense when a kid associated the two.
While funny, this story shows the importance of using simple terms when communicating with kids. Don’t assume that kids understand what you mean.
Give clear instructions in simple terms. And ask for clarification when a kid says anything you’re not 100% sure you understand. They might mean something completely different than what you think.
If a kid doesn’t understand what you’re trying to communicate, they aren’t to blame. And until you learn how to communicate using terms a kid understands, how can you hope to have better communication results?
Conclusion
Communicating with kids doesn’t have to be hard or frustrating. But it can be frustrating and hard if you don’t remember that you’re communicating with a kid.
Always try to give a kid your full attention when communicating. Make sure you’re listening and hearing when they speak. Try to have realistic expectations every time you communicate with a kid. And when you do communicate, use simple terms so there aren’t any misunderstandings.
If you can avoid frustration and spend a few seconds thinking things through, you can communicate better with kids of any age.